drowning

it was a foggy day. i was sailing. but the boat refused to move in the dead calm. stranded. in the still silent whiteness. i shivered slightly.

i was alone.

i fell into the water. it should be freezing cold but i couldn't feel a thing. my white world now turned into a shock of blue black waters. the silence was broken. the salt water gurgled into my ear. leadened by my clothes, i sank. i couldn't breathe.

limp.

in this watery world, there was no up no down no east no west. i simply sank.

my lungs were on fire, unquenchable heat. i couldn't breathe. tired, i felt so tired. i just wanted to give up and float away. no worries no desires no disappointments no hurt. just simply float away.

oblivious.

i couldn't breathe. i coughed. hacking racking cough from the deepest recesses of my lungs.

i... couldn't... breathe....


i gasped, sat up in bed. blocked nose, fever, headache. i'm down with flu.

need heart...

...my ol' ticker had run away.

happy st valentine's.

sealed with a fat kiss

there i was, cycling on one of those machines in the gym on saturday, feeling proud of myself for actually being in the gym on a weekend. according to my fitness instructor, i had to lose tonnes of fat to redeem myself back out of the obese category.

*cycle*cycle*cycle*
my mind started wandering off.

*cycle*cycle*cycle*
i remembered this cruel myth (maybe it was real but i found it a little too cynical and morbid) that was circulating a few years back. the one about the seals living in polluted waters dying off in winter.

*cycle*cycle*cycle*
in summer, the seals were feeding on toxic fishes. as mammals, toxins are stored in our fat tissues, so the seals had all the nasty stuff from the pollution locked up in their fat. come winter, as food became scarce, the seals started losing their fat and this released the toxins back into their system. and, one by one, they died from poisoning.

*cycle*cycle*cycle*
flavour enhancers, preservatives, food colourings, artificial sweeteners,... i've probably consumed enough toxins in my entire life to kill myself 10 times over.

*cycle*cylc---*
i got off the machine, showered and got myself a huge chocolate milkshake.