spring is a bitch

like a temperamental girl, spring has been been taunting us with fickle promises of warmth only to turn away, laughing *mocking*, at the last instance. like the sweetness of honey laced with the sharp tangy taste of lemon.

morning rain evaporated in the noon sun, only to reward us with the gloomy downpour that frizzles our hair and drowns our dinner plans. i look at my suede shoes in dismay. it's soaked through again. it seemed like such a good idea to wear it this morning.

where was the sunshine and warmth of last week?

my mood soars and plunges with the temperature. my little line of mercury equates sunshine to smiles; pregnant clouds with gloom and doom. i check the meteo: forecast of rain rain rain all weekend. hmph. more doom and gloom. you'll know where to find me: under my fluffy warm covers with books and cat for company. sprawled in bed watching the cat lick herself. i love it when she licks her feet. toes splayed wide to get in between. and when she's done with her toes, she starts licking my fingers. i spread my fingers open for her.

yes, in bed with old portishead songs. i had once given a CD to a guy, think of me when you're sitting by the window in a sweltering heat on summer's night while you listen to the sultry music of portishead. he's now long gone from my life, but the songs remain. i prefer to listen to them now in chilly spring mornings. doom and gloom.

perhaps i'll go grocery shopping and cook up a storm. create my own tropical thunderstorm in the kitchen, with lightning hot red chili and a spinkling of spices. pots simmering away merrily. kitchen counter buried under bunches of green vegetables. my defiance against the grey chill.

sleep and eat. perhaps the weekend isn't so bleak afterall. i check the meteo again, in case they've decided to update their forecast. what a bitch.

losing my head

robo-cat

the cat stopped eating a few weeks back. it all started when i went away for a long weekend. i'd left enough food and water for her until i return.

when i came back, nothing was unusual except... except that the food was virtually untouched and the litter tray was clean. highly unusual after 4 days away.

perplexed, i changed the brand of her kitty biscuits. i checked her teeth. felt around her stomach area. nothing out of the ordinary. meanwhile, the cat remain active. where does she find the energy to run madly around the flat if she hasn't eaten in 3 weeks?

yesterday, i found a stray screw under the coffee table. it was the second one that i'd found in the week. where did they come from? i scrutinised the two tiny screws. silver in colour and slightly bigger than the ones used for spectacles, they are normal screws that are readily available in any hardware store. i looked up to see the cat staring at me, tail swishing.

viens, i called to her. come here. she yawned, showing all her sharp pointy teeth. i hid the screws in a safe place. something wasn't quite right. i just couldn't pinpoint it exactly. i looked at the cat snoozing peacefully in the sunlight by the window. stop being paranoid.

last night, i dreamt that i was trapped in a room full of clocks, ones that tick and others that tock. suddenly they all started buzzing aloud. i opened my eyes to see the cat purring next to me. her eyes glowed luminous in the semi-darkness. strange. above the mad pounding of my heart, her purring sounded mechanical to my ears. whirrrrrrrrr

this morning, i found another screw next to my pillow.

i am beginning to suspect that all these have something to do with my cat. is she really my cat? a cat that doesn't eat anymore? will you think i'm crazy if i tell you that my cat has been replaced by a robo-cat? a robo-cat that runs on solar power, a robo-cat with mechanical limbs? whirrrrrrrrr should i douse her with icy cold water and see if she short-circuits?? is she a robo-cat with a few loose screws?

... or am i the one with a few loose screws in my head?

chemistry lesson

spontaneous combustion. it happens when ingredients come together in a mixture so potent that it ignites by itself. no external spark source. it bursts into all consuming flames. *woomff*

does the equivalent happen when eyes meet across a crowded room? when the heart leaps with recognition of someone special. when sparks flew, the flames of passion rage on. combustion. When two people succumb to their primal instincts, without a care for their surroundings, forests burn and houses are destroyed. and still the fire rages on. leaving in its wake… smothering cinders.


osmosis: the movement of particles from one object to another, when placed side by side, from a higher concentration to a lower concentration. second law of thermodynamics demands that entropy results. homogeneity.

when two people who have been friends for so long, that they eventually become similar. at the sub-atomic level they exchange particles from deep within their core. undetected by all, except studious scientists shut away in labs with their electric microscopes. undetected by all, not even themselves. until one day, the thought of one without the other is as cruel as separating twins at birth.


and what of amalgam? when two different metals meld together without any chemical reactions. they liquefy under the extreme heat in the smelt. mixed together, they become indistinguishable. they form an alloy, an alliance of strengths. together they work better, but they remain two separate metals.

two people brought together by circumstances. or loneliness. or money. or some inexplicable need. not love. a marriage of convenience. no chemical reaction happened. never will. an occurrence that would not have happened if not for the external heat source. a strong bond that will break only when put through another external heat source, whereby they separate, unscathed. unmarked by this union.